Can't Pretend That We're Okay
by A Thing For Brothers
Summary: This is a brief story about Charlie and Don's relationship when it takes a bad turn. There's a small summary inside. Enjoy!
1. Many trials and pains

**Summary: In the middle of a stake out, Charlie comes with new information, risking his life and the secrecy of the hideout in the process. This is like an Outsiders/Numb3rs crossover. It's based off of when Darry hit Pony in The Outsiders. I own no characters.**

**Charlie's POV**

I peddled as hard as I could to get to the FBI's stakeout point. They were zeroing in on a meth lab and they thought they had found out where it was. At the last minute, I had found out that it was a decoy, a set up. I should have seen the signs. They must have known we were watching them. That's why they made it so easy.

I hoped I was undetected. I tried to be quick and quiet. The real meth lab, by my calculations, still wasn't far from here, but it wasn't where they were planning on invading.

I laid my bike down quietly behind the house they were using, while the owner slept in safety at the FBI offices until they could give it back.

I slowly, cautiously, made my way to the back door and knocked.

**Don's POV**

We were keeping the lights on, just to not look suspicious. But no one was in the light. We were all in the back of the house, waiting to make our move when a drug deal was to take place, when we would strike.

"All right, Colby, I want your team to-" We were interrupted by a knock at the back door.

I motioned for David to get it, and keep a gun on him. We were all silent, holding are weapons at ready.

I moved slowly to another room, in case we'd need the element of surprise.

Soon Megan came over to me.

"It's Charlie." She said.

**Charlie's POV**

I knew Don would be mad, but I had to let them know before they got the wrong house.

David pulled me inside the house, and soon I saw Megan coming from a separate room with an irate Don following her.

Don came right up to me, eyes flaring with rage. He reached out and grabbed me by the wrist and hauled me down the steps.

"Don. Ow. You're hurting me. Let go, Don." I said quietly, so not to make a scene. His grip was deathly tight and I began to wince in pain.

Don ignored my pleading until we got to a finished room downstairs with no windows at all.

Finally, he released me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He barked, but keeping it to a softer note.

"Don, I found out that where you were wanting to go was not where the meth lab is at-"

"Charlie, I don't care! You know how much danger you just put yourself in? Put us in? Damn it, Charlie, if they had seen you and they figured out what was going on, who knows what would have happened."

"But they wouldn't! Don, by my calculations, they're not in that house across the street. That was their decoy house. They're a few blocks away, right next to the children's park..."

"No! We have all the evidence that shows that they are in that house across the street. We just saw someone coming into the house carrying something hidden underneath his jacket. It's there, Charlie, and you just put us all in danger for nothing."

"But, the equations-"

"I don't care about some stupid equations! Do you know what would have happened to you if they had caught you? They would have held you hostage and used you as bait for us. They would have gotten away because we wouldn't be able to risk getting you killed to proceed. Damn it, Charlie, for someone so smart you are an idiot!"

"Don, I'm not wrong on this!" I pleaded, getting angry and hurt.

"No, Charlie. You're wrong. I want you to stay down here until we come back for you once this bust is finished. You hear me?"

"No, Don. You have to go over there. It's a set up! They knew you were watching them. Please, believe me."

"I can't believe you. And why should I? After that stupid stunt you just pulled, you clearly haven't been thinking much anyway."

"Don, please, my calculations-"

"Shut up about those equations!"

I stepped back away from him.

"Don, listen to me!" I said in an angry, demanding voice.

"No!" He screamed as he stepped forward and punched me hard across the face.

I stumbled backwards, crashing against the wall. My cheek stung with pain from where he had hit me, but something else was hurting worse.

I saw the look in Don's eyes. He was as shocked as I was. He had never hit me like that before. I mean, we'd had our fights, but not like this.

"Charlie, I-" He started, but I rushed past him and ran up the steps.

"Charlie, wait!" He risked screaming.

But I didn't wait. I ran past the other agents, and went back into the dark night. I found my bike and peddled away as fast as I could.

**Don's POV**

I felt so guilty. But even though I felt bad about hitting Charlie, I was still mad at him for coming, and I was getting just as mad knowing that he left. When emotions get in the way, your thoughts don't seem right. Who knows what trouble he'll get himself into?

"All right, guys." I said as I got up the steps. "Colby, I want your group to head across the street. David, your team is to go, by car, to search the surrounding area for a different meth lab. Try within the three block radius and near the park. Megan, your team is coming with me to find Charlie. He's out there, and who knows who may be keeping watch over the labs. Let's move."

**Charlie's POV**

I sped away blindly, tears blurring my vision. I kept going, but I didn't know where. Home was another way. I finally blinked hard a few times and saw that I was passing the park.

Suddenly, out of no where, something caught in my bike tire, sending me flying over the handle bars and scraping my hands and cheek.

I lay there, stunned for a few seconds, when someone grabbed me from behind.

"Where you think you're going?" A sinister voice breathed. I looked into the eyes of a villain, and was truly scared for the first time in my life.

He punched me hard in the face, and stomach. He dragged me along as I tried to fight him. He threw me hard to one side and I fell into a water fountain. My side ached with the impact of him tossing me, and I crumpled to the ground as I couldn't breathe.

Taking advantage of my situation, he reached over and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, and lifted my head, and brought it crashing hard to the cement outer edge of the water fountain. I was momentarily stunned. I couldn't see, but I didn't lose consciousness. I could feel the blood start to spill.

My back to the fountain, the man kicked me hard in the chest and ribs. I ached with pain. He punched me in the face and tears came into my vision once more.

Then, without warning, he grabbed me and lifted me up. I kicked and punched, trying to make contact, but I was overpowered by the much larger man.

He dunked my head into the water. I reached out, trying to find something to hold onto, to bring myself out of the water. Soon my lungs were emptied of all oxygen and I tried to fight harder. Just when I thought I couldn't last another second, he pulled me out of the water.

I breathed in the air, which felt like heaven, but before I could get a full breath, he dunk me back in. I swallowed water as I thought I was still above. I tried to spit it out, but water was everywhere.

This time, he didn't let me up for breath. Before he could, I lost all consciousness.

**Don's POV**

Megan's team and I hurried to find Charlie. David had said he was heading toward the park. We went as fast as we could, keeping our guns ready for whatever was to come.

We got to the park and looked around. Megan was the first to spot as he was being dunked into a fountain.

We rushed over.

"FBI! Let him go!" I screamed.

The guy turned, holding a gun on Charlie. Damn it. This is what I was worried about.

"I don't think so, Mr. Important." The guy said, pointing the gun to Charlie's head while he held him under water with the other.

I could see Charlie trying to fight him off. We'd have to act quick or he'd be dead before we could get to him.

"Drop your weapon in the next ten seconds or I'll put a bullet through you."

I saw the fear flash through the man's eyes.

"Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three..."

"All right!" The man exclaimed, dropping the gun.

I kept my gun on him while Megan went around and got Charlie out of the fountain.

"All right, back off slowly." I commanded.

Two of the guys with Megan came over and handcuffed him and started taking him to the house we were at and to send help for Charlie.

I rushed over to Megan and Charlie. Charlie must not have been breathing because Megan was administering mouth-to-mouth.

Colby's team came over, and I had to leave them.

"What'd you find?" I asked Colby.

"They weren't there. I guess Charlie was right." He said.

I got out my walkie-talkie.

"David? Find anything?" I asked.

"Not yet. We're heading toward the park now."

"We've got a guy here. I guess he was the look-out."

"We're on our way."

I moved back to Charlie and Megan.

Megan had moved away from Charlie. She was talking to Colby about what happened. Charlie sat on the edge of the fountain, shivering.

I headed over to him.

**Charlie's POV**

After spitting out some more water, I heard someone say my name.

I stood at the sound of my name.

Don was heading toward me, and he didn't look happy. I noted the way his fist was clenched, preparing to strike out again. Out of fear o f being hurt anymore, I stepped back, only to fall completely in the fountain.

"Charlie!" I heard Don call my name.

I reached for something to hold onto to pull myself out. Soon, Don's hand reached out to grab my hand and he pulled me out.

"You okay?" He asked as I stepped out of the fountain.

I shook my head no. I sat back down on the edge and hugged myself, trying to keep warm.

Don must have noticed, because I saw him walk over to the now-arriving van to get a blanket for me.

He came back over carrying one. He threw it in my lap.

"Here." He said, not sounding quite as sympathetic as before.

I took it and wrapped it around myself, clutching it tightly as I tried to calm my shivering body.

"Look, bud, I know that you were upset back there, but I cannot condone the fact that you put yourself and us at risk twice tonight."

"You? How did I put the FBI in danger? I didn't ask you to follow me." I argued.

"Oh, yeah? What did you think? We were just going to let an unarmed civilian go out there unprotected? Damn it, Charlie, why can't you think?"

"I thought I'd be safe over there, considering they were only across the street." I threw at him.

Don made a grunting noise, but was interrupted by his walkie-talkie.

"We got 'em!" David's voice called.

"Where are you?"

"We're across the street from the park. I can see you from where we are."

"Need any backup?"

"Negative. We're just fine."

"No injuries?"

"Nope."

"Good job."

Don turned back to me.

"God, Charlie, I don't know how you manage to make me so frustrated. What were you thinking running out there by yourself anyway? You could have been killed, Charlie!"

I stood up, angry and upset. My blanket fell to the ground, but I didn't care.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I asked as calmly as I could before I walked off, after I had found where my bike was.

"Charlie, come back. You can't keep running off when you get mad at me!" Don screamed from behind me, sounding just as mad as I was.

"Watch me!" I called back, getting on my bike and peddling toward home.

**Don's POV**

I watched as Charlie sped away. Images of how beat up and shaky he was flashed in my mind. The scrape on his cheek, the gash in his forehead, the bruise under his eye...I had put that one there.

I felt the guilt in waves once more, but I didn't give in to them this time. Charlie had done something stupid once more and I couldn't take it. I knew I upset him, but he had no right to run off like that.

**Charlie's POV**

The cold wind cut through my damp clothing like a knife. I shook as I peddled home. My hands ached from where I had scraped them on the cement and I had to take my hands off the handles to keep the pain away. But no pain could erase the pain inside me.

I finally got home at four o'clock in the morning. I pulled up to the front of the house and got out. I opened up the front door quietly, only to find Dad walking groggily to the stairs. He was clearly surprised by my walking in.

"Charlie! Where have you been?" He asked, obviously not knowing that I had been out before then.

"Nowhere." I said, walking past him. As my face hit the light, I heard Dad's intake of breath.

"Charlie! My God, what happened?" He asked, reaching out to touch me.

"It's nothing, Dad. I'm going to bed." I said, as I walked hurriedly up the steps.

I laid down in bed, not bothering to take off the damp clothes or even to cover up with the blanket. The chill from the wet clothing was nothing compared to the cold feeling in my heart.

I let the tears come then, and I was taking over by sleep.

The next morning, I felt horrible. I got up at eight o'clock and took a shower, finally getting out of the wet clothing.

My hands were scraped and covered with dried blood. My head had a deep gash that started bleeding again after I cleaned it off.

But when I looked at the bruise on my face, I stopped dead in my tracks. Don had put it there. My older brother, who I had looked up to for years had hit me.


	2. Charlie's Ill

**Charlie's POV**

I went down the stairs and saw Dad standing at the stove. I tried slipping out, but my father was too quick for that.

"Charlie! Get in here. I need to talk to you about last night."

"Dad, I don't have time. I have a class in twenty minutes."

"It can wait. Sit down."

For once, I disobeyed my father.

"Dad, I've got a lot of stuff to catch up on, I probably won't be around much in the next few days, okay? I'll be at school if you need me."

"Charlie! Get back here!" Dad called from behind me.

"Bye!" I called back.

I felt bad for doing something like that to Dad, but I had to.

**Don's POV**

I sat at my desk, feeling the guilt really sink in. I had hit Charlie. I had hit my brother. What kind of brother am I?

Just then my cell phone rang and I picked it up.

"Eppes." I spoke into the receiver.

"Don, this is your father. Do you know what happened to Charlie last night?" He asked hurriedly.

"What has he told you?" I asked, hesitant to give away any information.

"Nothing. He came home soaking wet and bloody and this morning he left before I could say much to him. He wouldn't tell me anything. I assume you know what's going on?"

"Yeah, Dad. Remember the meth bust we were planning?"

"Yes."

"Well, Charlie found some new information about where the meth lab was located at the last minute and he rode his bike to our stakeout point and put himself in danger."

"God, I thought Charlie knew better than that." Alan breathed.

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, he came and told me about it. I got mad and yelled at him, and he got so upset he ran off and put himself in danger again."

"What!"

"Yeah, I know. Anyway, he got caught by the man who was standing guard for the meth lab and he tried to drown Charlie in the fountain at the park across the street from the meth lab."

"My, gosh. Was he okay?"

"Yeah, he was fine. He was drenched to the bone, and he had a few scraped and a gash in his forehead, but, other than that, he seemed okay."

"So why is he not planning on coming home for the next couple of days? He says he's busy."

"I don't know, Dad. I just don't know."

**Charlie's POV**

I stepped into my office and laid down my backpack and my notebook. I had to write. I had to work. I had to think.

I quickly went to the secretary's office and told her to cancel any appointments I had and not to let anyone in my office except for Amita and Larry.

"What about your family?" She had asked.

"No." I said firmly, and then went back to my office.

I sat down at my desk, feeling a little dizzy. My head throbbed with pain and I felt unusually cold.

In my first class, I almost fell over twice. I felt fatigued, but I continued to push on.

Unusual for me, I let my class out forty minutes early. Usually, I would keep them to the last minute, but I couldn't find the strength.

I went back to my office and slumped in a chair.

I took out my cell phone and called Amita.

"Hello?" Amita's voice spoke.

"Hey, Amita. This is Charlie. I have a big favor to ask of you."

"What's that?" She asked, sounding intrigued.

"I need you to take over my afternoon class, if you can."

"Sure, but why? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just swamped right now. You sure you don't mind?"

"No, not at all. But Charlie-"

"Thanks. I owe you one." I said and quickly hung up.

I turned to my chalkboard and got so into solving one problem for the FBI, that I forgot to come to my next class. If I hadn't stopped when I dropped my piece of chalk, I may never have.

I rushed to my class room, pausing outside the door to look like this was normal.

"Good afternoon, class." I said as I stepped inside.

In the hour that I spent in my class teaching, I dropped my piece of chalk ten times and had to sit down three. It was getting on my nerves and so I dismissed the class...an hour early.

I returned to my office where I got caught up in my work once more. It wasn't until Larry scared me half to death that I came back to reality.

"Charles, is something wrong?" Larry asked after I calmed my racing heart.

"No, nothing. Why do you ask?"

"I can't help but notice that you let two of your three classes out early and one of them you have Amita covering for you. Besides that, the writing on the chalkboard makes no sense what so ever."

I looked at the chalkboard. I noticed it, too, but I couldn't let on. What was wrong with me?

"Isn't it always messy?" I asked, forcing a smile.

"Charles, your messy is not like that. What's going on with you? You look like you got beat up or something. You're all pale and you've got scrapes and bruises all over."

"It's nothing, Larry. If you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work."

"But, Charles-"

"Good day, Larry."

Larry turned and walked out the room, but I knew I hadn't heard the last from him.

**Alan's POV**

The phone rang and I got up to get it. I had been reading the newspaper, or at least trying to anyway.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Eppes? This is Larry."

"Hello, Larry. How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you. I need to talk to you about Charles, though."

"Charlie? Is he okay?"

"Not that I can tell. He's been kind of off today, which is not like him in the least. He let out his classes early, which he never does, and he has Amita covering one of his classes this afternoon."

"That's not like him. Thank you, Larry. I'll call Don and see if he can think of something to do."

"If there's anything I can do to help, you know where I am."

"Yes, I know. Thank you, Larry."

I hung up the phone and dialed Don's cell phone.

**Don's POV**

I picked up my cell phone.

"Eppes."

"Don, this is your father again. Larry just called and told me some things about Charlie. I'm worried, Don. This isn't like your brother."

"What sort of things did he tell you?"

"He said he let his classes out early and he has Amita covering one of his later classes. I know your brother wouldn't do that unless something was seriously wrong. I need you to go to his office when you're done with work."

Fear ran through me. I couldn't talk to Charlie...not after what I did to him.

"Dad, I'm pretty swamped here-"

"And I'm your father and he's your brother. Do it."

And with that, Dad hung up.

After work, I went down to CalSci and walked up to the secretary's office.

"Hi, is Charles Eppes busy right now?"

"Yes. He's been busy all day. He said not to take any visitors. I'm sorry, sir. You'll have to come back some other time."

_Like hell I will_

"Thank you."

I walked down the hall, heading straight for Charlie's office.

I found him struggling to wrap his hands in bandages. I noticed that they were read from being scraped from last night. I hadn't seen those.

He used his teeth to cut off a strip and then struggled to wrap it around his palm.

He finally got the one done and he took out, not tape, but his stapler and got the bandage together.

I just stood there in the door, watching him. When he got the other hand wrapped, he moved on to go back to his chalkboard.

He stood there, staring at it for several minutes. I looked at it, and couldn't make out anything. Some of the writing didn't even look human.

After a few more minutes, he pounded his fist against the chalkboard. I noticed that that was a similar habit that I had.

"Charlie?" I said as I stepped into the room.

He turned, startled into jumping.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay? You've got a lot of us worried."

"By 'a lot of us' you mean Larry, Amita, and Dad." He said, chuckling without humor.

"No, I'm worried, too."

"Yeah, right. Look, Don, I'm busy right now and I don't have time to chat."

"What are you working on?"

"None of your business."

I took another step forward.

"What's all that mean?" I asked, gesturing to the chalkboard as I took one more step closer.

I saw him getting nervous; I heard the tremble in his voice.

"It's nothing. Just some equations I'm working on for homework for my classes-" He stopped, yelping out when I had reached out to touch his shoulder. He jumped backwards, hitting the back of his head on the chalkboard.

"Charlie!" I gasped as I saw him hit the floor.

"I'm fine, Don." He said from the ground, though I could tell he was shaken.

I reached out to help him up, but he shrugged me off.

"You're not okay. What's the matter? You look so pale. Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm feeling fine." He said as he took a step away from me. I noticed the way he swayed when he walked.

He stood behind his desk for a minute, getting his bearings. Suddenly, he reached out and grabbed the edges of his desk, like it was falling.

He blinked rapidly a few times and then came to the realization that nothing was wrong with it at all.

"I-I need to get back to work." He said, turning back to the chalkboard. He swayed a little too much this time and he fell face first in to the chalkboard. He reached out to grab hold of it, only to knock the chalkboard down on top of him.

"Charlie!" I exclaimed.

I rushed to his side, taking the chalkboard off him. He lay there, crumpled on the floor, shivering.

I reached out to touch his forehead. He was oddly cold.

I took out my cell phone and dialed 9-1-1.

"Charlie, hang in there. There's an ambulance on the way." I said as he laid there on the floor. He began to shake more violently and I began to panic.

I reached out to grab his hand, but when he winced in pain, I let go.

The ambulance arrived soon after. They took him away and I followed close behind in my car.

I called Dad on the way to the hospital. He said he'd be there as soon as he could, and I was grateful. I didn't want to be there alone.

I paced the waiting room floors, trying to think of what was wrong with Charlie. Nothing came to mind.

"Don!" I heard Dad's voice call.

I turned and saw him running up to me.

"Where is he? Where's Charlie?"

"They took him back. I haven't heard from him since. I don't know what's wrong, Dad." I said, trying to keep my voice from breaking.

Dad must have noticed this because he enveloped me in a hug.

"It's all right, Donny. Charlie will be fine." He said to reassure me.

"Are you with Charles Eppes?" A doctor asked.

"Yes. Where is he? Is he all right?" I said hurriedly.

"He's doing much better now. Please sit and I'll tell you what's going on."

The three of us sat down and the doctor began to explain what was going on.

"Charles was suffering from hypothermia. His body temperature was dangerously low the normal temperature, and we had to help his temperature to go up. The hypothermia caused him to shiver and his lack of coordination. He also suffered from mild dehydration and he has a mild respiratory infection and we found a few broken ribs. We have him on fluids right now and he has been responding well. He's been given some antibiotics for the infection, but he'll be good as new in a week or so."

"Thank you, doctor. Can we see him now?" Dad asked.

"Certainly." The doctor showed us the way and then left us to talk to Charlie.

Charlie was lying in the bed, covered with the hospital sheet and a few extra warming blankets.

"Oh, my boy. My poor Charlie boy." Dad said as he brushed Charlie's hair away from his face.

I sat down in the chair beside Charlie's bed and Dad took the one across from me.

Dad continued to stroke Charlie's hair and soon he woke up.

"D-Dad?" Charlie's weak voice called.

"Sh. I'm here, son. You're okay." Dad said reassuringly.

"W-What happened?"

"You're sick, that's all. You're going to be fine, though."

Charlie's eyes rolled back into his head and he lost consciousness.

"That didn't take long." I said.

"My poor boy." Dad said once again, and took Charlie's hand in his much larger one.

I would have done the same for Charlie, but I knew he wouldn't want it.


	3. Healing

**Charlie's POV**

It was night time. My chest felt heavy and I couldn't move.

What was wrong with me? I looked up at the ceiling above me,only to find it unfamiliar. Where was I?

I screamed the name of the only person who could always save me, who always protected me, who I cared so much about.

"Don!" I gasped.

From some where in the darkened room his voice came.

"I'm here. I'm here, buddy." He said and soon I saw his face in the pale light.

He reached out and grabbed my hand lightly. I forgot that I had scrapes there, or I would have wanted him to squeeze harder.

"Where am I?" I asked, confused as to where I was.

"You're in the hospital. You have hypothermia, a respiratory infection, and a few broken ribs, but you'll be fine."

Suddenly, the memories all flooded my mind. I was mad at Don. Don was mad at me. He acted like he hated me, and I didn't know why.

"Buddy, are... are we okay?" Don asked with a tentative smile.

How I wanted to say yes. But to do so would be a lie.

"Don, I can't pretend that we're okay. We're not. We haven't been for a long time." I said, looking out the window to avoid the look in his eyes.

"We're doing all right, though, aren't we?" Don sounded so hopeful. I wanted to tell him we were, but we weren't.

"Don, when I was between the ages of three and eight, I looked up to you so much that I made you into a super hero. Don could do know wrong. You would play with me; protect me from bullies, the whole works. And it was enough for me to idolize you. But I remember your first day of seventh grade. You didn't walk me to school. I walked by myself. When it was time to go home, I waited for you to come walk me home, but you never came. So I walked home alone. I saw you with your friends, and I tried to come play with you and see you, but you shrugged me off, telling me to go home. You didn't think I heard, but I heard what you said after that. You said, 'I wish I was an only child.'" I looked away again, fearful of him seeing the tears in my eyes.

"Charlie, that was years ago. You can't think that way now. I was just a kid." Don defended himself.

"No, Don, I don't think you're the same way as you were then. But it wasn't until after that point that things went down hill. I fought, and I fought, to win your acceptance. I got in a few fights, which I sorely paid for. I tried playing baseball. I came to your games and I'd always be the one screaming the loudest. Instead of you feeling good about my screams, you looked embarrassed. I'd try to join in your games you'd have with your friends, but when I couldn't hit or catch the ball, you'd be the one making the most fun of me. So I tried backing off. And you know what, that was the time that you seemed to like me the most. I stopped talking to you. I found other friends to talk and play with. I ignored you at school, pretended we weren't even brothers. And you know what? You actually seemed to enjoy me then, because I was never around you to bother you."

"Charlie...I'm sorry. I mean, I didn't know you felt this way. We were just kids then. We're different now, aren't we? Please, tell me we're okay now."

"We're not okay now. Because I'm doing the same thing again. Last night, I tried to help you out, but it was just like when I tried to join you and your friends. You shrugged me off and made me go home. You didn't trust me. You didn't listen to me. And then, when things got too much for you to handle, you hit me. And that is one pain that will never go away." I said, letting the tears fall freely now.

"Charlie, I-"

"Save it. This time I can't run away, so you have to. Just leave."

Don nodded his agreement and stepped outside the room. When the door closed, I sobbed into my pillow until I fell asleep once more.

**Don's POV**

I went to my apartment and went to bed. I lay there for many hours, trying to think of a way to fix things with Charlie.

Had I been that horrible of a brother? Was I that cruel? No, it was a big brother thing. Kids went through it every day.

But it seems it's the younger brothers who suffer the most.

_You hit me, and that's one pain that will never go away._

How could I have hit him? I hit my brother. He had just been trying to help, and because of him, we found the meth lab.

But it didn't seem to make me feel any prouder. Why is that?

Why do I push Charlie away so much?

_Because you're afraid he'll be better than you._

But Charlie has always been smarter than me. Why would a little competition make me so angry? Why would I get so mad that I'd act out in violence?

_You were afraid he'd get hurt, and losing someone you love so much again would kill you._

It was true. Charlie scared me half to death. He was always doing something like that, and it was killing me. I didn't want him working with me, and not because of competition, but because I was afraid he'd get hurt, and, eventually, he would.

But how can I make it up to him?

**Charlie's POV**

I had to stay in the hospital for four days. On the third, Dad found me staring out the window, fighting tears.

"Okay, Charlie. Spill. You never were good at hiding your feelings. What's wrong?" Dad said as he came in to sit by my bed.

"Dad! You startled."

"I don't see how that's possible since I was standing at the door for five minutes before I walked in. So what's going on? You've got that look on your face."

"What look?"

"The one that says something's wrong but you don't know how to fix it. So what can't you fix? Talk to me."

"Dad... I may have said some things to Don that I shouldn't have."

"It wouldn't be the first time. What did you tell him?"

"The truth."

Dad looked confused, and I didn't blame him. It was what was confusing me.

"The truth? How is that a bad thing?"

"Because it's not what he wanted to hear. He hasn't been in here since."

"He told me he was busy, that's all."

"No, that's his excuse, but not the real reason. You remember us when we were growing up, Dad? Well, that's what I brought up."

"What was wrong with the way you grew up? Your mother and I gave you everything you needed."

"I know, Dad, and I'm grateful, but I was meaning how Don and I grew up and grew apart."

"Oh. I see. You two never did get along that great."

"We did when we were little, but after Don turned thirteen, he didn't want to have anything to do with me."

"That's understandable. You were a pain."

We laughed, but mine didn't last long. Nothing was that funny lately.

"Dad, do you think Don hated me when we were growing up?"

"What! Charlie, don't talk like that. Your brother loves you."

"Yes, 'loves me' meaning now. Did he love me then?"

"Yes, Charlie. I believe your brother has always loved you. You two grew apart after a while, but I knew you two were always there for each other and that you still loved each other. Don just didn't know how to show he loved his little brother when he was supposed to be turning into a grown man who didn't show his feelings."

"Like he is now."

"Yes, like he is now."

I leaned my head back into the pillow.

"Charlie. Look at me."

I turned my head to face my father's gaze.

"Don loves you. He always has an always will. But I can't be the one to give you that reassurance now. You have to get it from him."

I sighed. I knew I had to face Don again sooner or later, but I wasn't in the mood for it.

"Charlie... why were you dehydrated when you got here?" Dad asked me, catching me off guard.

"I'm not sure." I said, lying through my teeth.

"Charles. Before you got here, when was the last time you ate?" Dad said, and this time he meant business.

"Tuesday." I said meekly.

"Tuesday? Charlie, you got here on Thursday! What were you thinking? It's bad enough that you put your life in danger by going out there that night, but you were putting yourself in danger without going there. Charlie, when we get home tomorrow, I'm making you some vegetable soup, roast beef sandwiches, and cake for dessert. You need to eat, kiddo, and that's an order." He got up from his chair, but first withdrew something from his pocket.

"For when you're ready." He said, setting my cell phone down on my bed.

I sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.

**Don's POV**

I was in the middle of filling out some paper work when my cell phone rang.

"Eppes." **(lol, this seems how all of Don's POVs start)**

"Don?" Charlie's shaken voice spoke over the line.

"Charlie? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. I just wanted you to come over to the hospital whenever you get the chance."

"Charlie, what's going on?"

"Nothing. Just get here when you can, okay?" I heard him wince in pain, and I panicked.

"I'll be there soon. Just hold tight, buddy." I said, hanging up.

I rushed through the paperwork, and skipped the meeting.

I drove as fast as was legal until I got to the hospital.

I ran up the stairs and got to Charlie's room, only to find him crying on his bed.

"Charlie! I'm here, buddy. What is it?"

"Don? I didn't expect you so soon." He said, trying to cover up the tears still streaming down his face.

"Charlie? What is it? Is it Dad? Where-"

"Don, stop worrying. Nothing's going on."

"But on the phone-"

"I just meant that I wanted to talk to you as soon as you got off work. You didn't have to come for nothing."

"It wasn't nothing." I said quietly.

Charlie took a shuddering breath and then began to tell me what was bothering him.

"Don, I'm so sorry about the other day. I'm sorry I did something so stupid. And I'm sorry for hurting you."

"Hurting me?"

"I made you out to be a horrible brother. But, Don, you were always there for me when I needed you most, and you still are today. Don, growing up would have been a living hell if you hadn't been there to take care of me. I'm sorry I lost sight of that."

While his words warmed me, I knew they weren't entirely true.

"Charlie, I wasn't the kind of brother to you that I should have been. I hurt you so many times, and I never even realized it. That's how bad a brother I was. Charlie, I was jealous of you. I mean, you were in some of the same classes as me! How did that make me look? Pretty stupid compared to you. But I never stopped loving you. I'm so, so sorry that I hit you. I should never have done that. I know you should never forgive me for that, but I'm going to ask anyway."

"Don, I always forgive you." Charlie said quietly, looking up at me with tears in his eyes.

"I know, buddy. I know."

"Will you stay with me? Until I fall asleep?" Charlie asked timidly, and I felt that over-protective side of me flaring again.

"Sure thing, buddy." I said, settling into the chair next to his bed.

He held his hand open and I took it in mine. We fell asleep like that.

**Charlie's POV**

_The man chased me down. I tried to run, but I wasn't fast enough. I tripped, and he pounced on me._

_I felt his punches and kick, each one more painful than the last. In the distance I saw a lone figure, starting to come toward me._

_The man lifted me up and dunked me into the water. I fought to breathe. It was getting too hard. My lungs filled with water. Save me!_

I shot up in bed, screaming and sweating. The name I was screaming was "Don."

"Charlie!" Don gasped beside me.

"What is it, buddy? You okay?" He asked as he saw me sitting up in bed, shaking as I tried to hug myself.

I shook my head, no and he got in bed beside me.

"Sh. You're okay now, buddy. I got you. No one's going to hurt you. Not while I'm here."

He took me in my arms and I leaned into my brother. He held me close and my tears and fear left me. As always, Don was there to save me.


End file.
